


Pitiful

by Yosei



Category: Free!
Genre: I always make happy things!, M/M, Not Happy, Pity Sex, what else can I say?, which is weird for me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2015-08-15
Packaged: 2018-04-14 22:33:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4582641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yosei/pseuds/Yosei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Due to a drinking splurge over the misery that Haru is leaving to chase after Rin for competition, Makoto confesses his love to Haru the night before he leaves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pitiful

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GhostInTheDeadWitchCity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostInTheDeadWitchCity/gifts).



> As a gift to two friends ;3
> 
> Side-note: Also made some totally irrelevant Iwatobi Swim Club maid buttons that I finally finished a couple weeks ago, but you'll never see because I got in trouble for putting links in the notes.

Makoto never really cared for the taste of alcohol, the smell was strong and it made him feel like shit in the morning. Ever since Haru's announcement to the team though, Makoto has been able to put away the distaste he had for alcohol. There's a pleasant buzz that comes with drinking beer that slowly warms his stomach and seems to spread throughout his body, numbing him as the alcohol travels. Makoto likes the numb feeling, it helps him stop thinking so much. As the day draws nearer, the pile of empty beer cans littering his room grows to the point where his family begins to notice and worry, but he diverts every question to something else. He always takes care of his family and loves them very much, but this is not something they need to know about and eventually they drop the subject. 

The first time he shows up to the club buzzed, not drunk of course (he's not trying to drown), Nagisa and Rei tease him for being sleepy looking and slow in their exercises. Haru doesn't even bat an eye, or even really look in his general direction, too focused on improving his times. Every time Makoto looks at him swimming in the pool, he aches in ways he didn't think possible. But it's not really that much of a surprise when he really thinks about it, after all, they've been friends for as long as he can remember. Of course it's going to hurt, especially with the way he's choosing to deal with it. 

Opening up another can of beer when he gets home doesn't even make him feel guilty anymore.

When he watches TV and sees all of the stereotypical romance dramas he can't help but laugh to himself since he's pretty much living in one. Except, he isn't going to 'get the girl.' It's a fact that he can't stop giggling about when he's buzzed and in that feel good zone of warmth. Practice and school for the next few weeks goes the same as it has been with not many noticing either his buzz or the strong smell because he's gotten good at hiding it. He's always been good at hiding what he didn't want others to know. But... he thinks while watching Haru swim... I want him to know. Usually he already would know. Haru and he had been like twins growing up and they understood each other much better than any one else did, better than his siblings and definitely better than his parents. It was never complicated between them, it was smooth and serene like the water that Haru loves so much. But now things are different. He has lost that connection that he had held so tightly to his chest and the one who was taking it away was Haru.

Buying beer wasn't very difficult, but getting some of the harder stuff might raise some eyebrows about his age and laws about minors and alcohol. Makoto still thinks he'll give it a shot since tomorrow is the day.

Surprisingly, he succeeds. He's toting a rather large and suspicious bag of chuhai, highball, gin, a small but fucking expensive bottle of vodka, and of course more beer. He had gotten lucky since the market clerk happened to be a bashful girl who was too busy being flustered that he was actually talking to her to notice all of the things he was buying. Makoto was around halfway back home when around the corner came Haru.

“Evening, Haru.” Makoto threw on a fake smile that he couldn't even feel, he did it so often lately.

“Evening.” Haru replied in his typical taciturn fashion. Makoto was surprised he said anything at all to him really. Haru looked like he was just going to walk by him and continue his own path when he looked down and noticed the ridiculous amount of alcohol that Makoto was carrying. Makoto was sure that Haru was going to chastise him or more likely just walk away and ignore him, but instead he just looked at Makoto and simply commanded “Come drink at my house” before continuing walking. Makoto stood where he was, too dumbfounded to really even react. Why the hell was Haru inviting him over now of all times? They both knew what was going to happen tomorrow! “Ren and Ran don't need to see you drinking that much.” Haru answered the question raging through his mind with a bucket of cold water. He was right. Makoto could divert his parents attentions, but his little brother and sister would snoop and search and find the alcohol and would know. Makoto wanted to be a good example for them and they didn't need to see him getting completely drunk off his ass in his desperation to forget tomorrow. But Haru had made his choice, so Makoto was going to make his. With that in mind he turned and followed Haru home. Living alone was a sad benefit. The house seemed very cold and lonely, but at least Haru and whoever he brought along could do as they pleased.

Haru had him set up at the table in front of the TV where he set down a glass for Makoto, but not one for himself. Because of course he didn't want to cause any functional problems in his own body with where he was going. After Haru had settled down at the table across from Makoto, he turned on the TV and started flipping through channels with a bored expression. Makoto opened up the chuhai first, gulping down the fruity liquid and actually enjoying the drink for its taste. As time passed and the hours grew later, Makoto switching drinks as he saw fit, Haru finally stopped flicking through channels and landed on another drama. Some girl crying and yelling at a man for something or another. For just a moment his eyes slid over to Haru and he thought that maybe he had gotten an interest in the show with the way his eyes were sparkling, but when Makoto turned back to the TV he could see why. The show was being filmed with a fucking pool in the background. Of fucking course. It's not like Haru cares about anything else these days besides swimming and finding him. And that's the reason that Haru had given the club: he was leaving the country to hunt after Rin by entering sets of international races and winning them to get his attention.

It had all started when Haru had first lost a race to Rin. Ever since then, he's developed some kind of greater obsession for swimming, developing a competitive edge that has grown to make him want to chase after Rin and prove himself. And Makoto, the one who has always been by his side and understood him more then anyone else, is just being thrown aside and left behind. After everything they've been through not only as children, but as a club with their friends, Haru is just going to pack up and leave without caring to even look back. He can hardly get a read on Haru anymore, what he's thinking and feeling. It's like he's closed himself off completely to Makoto so he can focus everything on winning against Rin. Makoto's head feels cloudy and mixed up but he can clearly feel the hot sting of tears that start dripping down his cheeks. 

“Do you even care?” he inhales sharply as he sets down his glass, a last sip of gin sloshing around. Haru looks over to him as if finally noticing that his friend is crumbling to damn pieces right next to him, but doesn't say a word. Makoto glares at him from across the table. “Do you even notice what you're doing to me!? I love you!” he yelled as he slammed his glass on the table, some of the alcohol spilling onto the table. The slight echo of Makoto's voice was the only sound left in the house besides the television drama. Makoto's fingers tightened around his glass as his shoulders hunched forward and shook as fat hot tears streamed down his cheeks. He thought he must look like a child crying for no reason.

“Yeah, I know.” Haru said blandly as he stood from his seat. Makoto's eyes followed him in furious disbelief as the man came to stand in front of him. “You've been drinking and slacking at the club. It's yours to take care of now. Everyone is going to be counting on you when I'm gone so stop being useless-”

“If I'm so useless then don't go! You can ignore my feelings all you want, just forget about Rin and stay!” At some point he had grabbed onto Haru's wrist in his desperation to feel some part of him.

“I can't do that.” Haru yanked his wrist away and, to Makoto's surprise, used both hands to grab the hem of his shirt and tug it off, leaving his pale torso bare.

“Haru, what are you-”

“Have sex with me.” Haru ordered as he thumbed the button open on his pants and let them fall to the floor leaving him covered only by the thin material of his swim suit. Makoto felt like he had been slapped.

“Are you making fun of me!?” Makoto growled as he stood up and knocked his chair over. “You think this is some kind of joke? What the Hell is wrong with you? Do you think-”

“What do you think? That I'm going to return your feelings? I'm not, but we've been friends long enough that I'll give this to you as a parting gift. So fuck me and take care of the team when I leave tomorrow or just get out because I need to get some sleep.” Haru's facial expression didn't change in the slightest as he offered up his body casually. Makoto's hands tightened into fists and his teeth ground together as he stared at the floor refusing to stare after the other man longingly when he had just confessed to not really giving a shit about him. Haru was going to leave tomorrow and Makoto's feelings had no effect on him at all, in fact Haru had anticipated it and gave him an option. And no matter how much Makoto hated himself for it, he couldn't say no. He stalked down the halls after the other man on the familiar path to his friend's bedroom and froze in the doorway to see Haru on his bed already two fingers deep into prepping himself.

“Have you made up your mind?” Haru asked from over his shoulder as he began to scissor his fingers and stretch his lube smeared hole even further. Makoto could feel his cock twitch in his pants even as he nodded grimly, not even caring to wipe the tear streaks off of his face. He walked up to the bed and yanked out Haru's fingers before shoving two of his own inside. The warmth that wrapped around the digits matched the imagined scorching tightness that had haunted his wet dreams for years, but it was so much better. The room filled with the slick squelching sound of lube and Haru's labored breathing, but the man's body stayed perfectly still on his hands and knees. Makoto added a third finger and searched for that little spot that would get some kind of reaction out of Haru, but when he he found and nudged against his prostate, he only shivered a bit and flinched as if someone had pinched him. Makoto felt determination swell up in his chest before it was swiftly knocked out of him by the fact that Haru wasn't even the slightest bit hard, his cock hanging flaccid between his legs. Makoto frowned and moved to touch it, maybe the warmth of his hand would do something, but Haru flicked his hand away dismissively.

“There's no point, just get on with it.” Makoto's frown deepened as his eyebrows knit together in a grimace that reflected how fucking tortured he felt by giving in to his body's whims when Haru didn't even want him. But Makoto needed it. Needed him. He had to get this one last connection before it was gone forever no matter how much it hurt or how much he hated himself for this screwed up psychological abuse. But he'd take what he could get because it was Haru and Makoto had come to terms with the fact that all he'd ever get from him were scraps. He pulled his fingers out of Haru's slick passage and pulled out his cock, still hard and flushed with blood despite how his eyes were already getting watery again, distorting his vision as he began to penetrate his best friend. Haru shoved his hips back, taking Makoto to the hilt with a grunt and an impatient sound when Makoto only stared down at their connection reverently. Makoto came back to himself slowly and began to thrust his hips in a rhythm to match the faster paced twitching of Haru's thin hips. After a few minutes of fevered fucking, Makoto slowed down, just touching the body under him, the skin cool in comparison to the searing heat inside. The sounds that Haru made weren't the desperate moans from his dreams, nor the crying out of his name, but the sight and feel of Haru's body was enough to eventually bring him to the brink.

“I love you so much... Haru.” He squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in the man's shoulder as he finally came with a shuddering sob that sounded more pained than anything else. When he finally did open his eyes he saw stars and specks of white that slowly faded as he came back down from euphoria to reality where an unsatisfied Haru laid beneath him full of his cum and yet still barely reacting at all accept to throw on an air of annoyance.

“Are you done?” No, Makoto thought desperately, no please don't make me leave.

“Yes.” He said instead as he pulled out and Haru grimaced at the feeling as if it was disgusting to him, and it probably was, Makoto realized. He thought he might start off feeling guilt and slowly drift back into depressed misery, but now he just felt hollow. Haru had taken the feeling, which Makoto had ripped out of his own chest to present to him, and thrown it away. He didn't have the energy to feel hurt anymore. He was numb.

“And you'll take care of the club.” he said not a question, but a statement, almost a command.

“Yes.” Makoto answered, because that was what Haru required of him. It was the only thing he wanted from him. He got dressed and left after agreeing seeing that Haru had nothing left to say. On his way out, he left the alcohol behind and stripped the Iwatobi-chan charm from his phone to leave on the table beside the empty bottles. The walk of shame back to his own house was silent and uneventful. He thought for a moment that he had seen Rin, his red hair visible even in the dim street lights, but that was impossible since he was already overseas.

He had a long talk with his parents that night to let them know that he was going to stop drinking and his mother had cried in relief, his father proud that he was going to get back on track. He cleaned the alcohol and empty cans out of his room and threw everything away. Having not one, but both of his siblings come to sleep next to him after he had washed up felt like applying a band-aid or make-up to a scar. It would help to cover up the mark, but wouldn't make it disappear.

The next morning Makoto had reluctantly, with a horrid hangover, resolved to return to the club and his new duties. Rei and Nagisa had understood when he said that he wasn't going to go to see Haru leave since he had already said his goodbyes. When he was finally all alone and on his way back home, got a text... from Rin.

“Did you think cumming in my bitch would make him yours? You're pitiful.”

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a blah that will hopefully help me get as far away from writing block as possible, but everyone knows that the block is pretty much my evil husband... no escape... OTL
> 
> All the tags I wanted to put:  
> -drunk, crying, in love makoto  
> -impassive, bitch haru  
> -pity sex  
> -haru still leaves his ass


End file.
